Partners also have many mixed emotions. While they may be excited and proud about being a new parent, there’s also a bigger sense of responsibility and concern.
Where Does the Partner Fit In?
Where does the partner fit in this new family? The new mom is focused on recovering from the birth and on the 24/7 realities of feeding and caring for a baby. Excited grandparents, family, friends and co-workers all ask about the new baby and the new mom. This all can lead to the partner feeling left out and a bit alone.
New dads also report that along with the joy and amazement at the new baby, they may also feel:
- Tired from the sleep disruption
- A huge responsibility for the health, finances and well-being of the new family
- Worried about mom, and her emotional ups and downs
- A sense of unease as they may not know a lot about baby care
Tips for the First Months
Here are some tips to help you in the first months:
Rest as often as you can.
Communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Ask her what she needs, and tell her what you need
Take some time for yourself – exercise, read, play a sport – whatever you like to do.
Talk to friends and coworkers who have children. You may be surprised how much you have in common.
Be prepared to live with some uncertainty. New babies can be unpredictable!
Spend time alone with your baby when you can. Learn your baby’s cues and how she communicates. Learn how to change diapers and other baby care tasks. You and your partner will probably not do things exactly the same way. That’s okay!
Remember that parenting is a new job for both you and mom, and it takes time to learn it and feel comfortable!