You’ve both taken on a new and important job – parenting. It’s a time of learning and adjustment to this new reality of parenthood.
Everyone responds in different ways to the changes that parenthood brings. It’s important for you and your partner to talk about things like how the family chores will be shared, finances, and how you will cope with the changes in your life and relationships. Neither of you are mind-readers – the only way that your partner will know your thoughts and feelings is if you tell him or her!
Here are a few other tips to help you nurture your relationship:
- Encourage each other. You are both learning!
- Talk each day about how your day went and how you are feeling about it
- Think about whether your expectations of yourself and your partner are realistic
- Plan so that you each have time to yourself during the week, and time as a couple
Family Violence
A new baby means major changes in your life. For some people, these changes can lead to conflict and sometimes to domestic abuse. Abuse is any behaviour used to control someone else by:
- Pushing, shoving, slapping, punching
- Threatening to hurt or kill you, your children or family pets
- Damaging your possessions
- Forcing you to have sex
- Refusing to talk to you or criticizing you constantly
- Not giving you money or controlling your money
- Limiting your contact with friends and or family, your children or a family pet
Abuse often occurs in a cycle. It can begin with tension and verbal abuse, move to physical abuse, and then end with the abuser asking to be forgiven and saying it won’t happen again. This cycle usually repeats itself.
If someone is abusing you:
- Talk to someone (e.g. a friend, a family member, a Public Health Nurse or other support person)
- Call the police, tell them you are in danger
- Go to your healthcare provider or to Emergency. Tell the healthcare provider how you got hurt. Ask them to write a report.
- Call your local emergency shelter – anytime day or night. You and your children will be safe there
For information and support call the Family Violence Information Line at 310-1818 (toll free in Alberta, 24 hours a day, available in more than 170 languages)
All types of abuse are against the law. You don’t deserve to be abused, its not your fault.
Safety Plans
- Keep emergency numbers with you
- Be ready to leave quickly (keep cash, important documents and keys in a safe place where you can get to them)
- Make a plan for your childrens safety
- Change travel routes and routines
- Let people know you are not feeling safe. Call a shelter for more safety advice